untitled

I’m sorry that I can’t hug you back some days.  It’s not that I don’t want to because sometimes all I can think of is the comfort that comes with being held by you.

I’m sorry that sometimes I can’t hold your hand and that I shake when we kiss.  My fingers always ache to be twined with yours and my heart pounds happily when our lips connect, but I’m still so scared that this will disappear.

 I’m sorry that I fall apart at times and that my lows are sometimes too low and that I laugh when it’s inappropriate.  I know it embarrasses you sometimes, it embarrasses me sometimes too, but they’re few and far between now and when they do happen I close my eyes and hold my breath and it hurts less.

I’m sorry that sometimes you intimidate me and that at other times I break down and shut you out.  I don’t have an excuse for it, but I hope to always see you standing there when I finally open the door.